Telephone coaching

Had an excellent coaching session on Tuesday. This was done over the phone. How would this be different to face to face coaching? As you can guess, I had not done tele-coaching before. I did my prep, I armed myself with a script and the GoMAD About Coaching (helping people to think in a solution focussed way full of tags. Something inside me said these resources were not the ones that would make this session a success. Anyway, I laid them out on front of me, somewhat like a comfort blanket. As the minutes ticked toward the agreed time to call, my nerves built.

Then something inside just said relax. You know what, I knew what I needed to know drilled in from courses, reading and practical experience. I took a deep breath and opened up the door to my internal library.

As the call started and the dialogue began between me and my coachee, I slipped into the zone. This is a special state when I open up all my senses to tune into the client. I focus on their breathing, tone, speed of speech, use of words and expressions. Particularly, I look for any changes during the session. When tuned in, the state changes these reveal really stand out.

When I say, I'm in the zone, I care about the client enough. This is important because otherwise I could enter the coachees state. If they are in a negative, stuck state doing that could be a problem.

The session flowed well, the GoMAD framework and high quality questions flowed and unlocked the coachees thinking allowing them to get answers. The best question is often one where the client is asked to see themselves after the goal has been achieved when they know it has been completed. Then to look back to now and consider what did they do to attain the goal, now?

Reflecting back. The hardest bit. Getting started. Should I start looking for a detailed goal the coachee is looking to address or a big picture kind of problem? How should a way forward be framed? From my experience now, I would through in a bunch of questions to get an insight into the individuals thinking. Some key ones could be:

"When you start a new project do you want to know all the details first before the context or do you need the big picture first before the detail"; Do they process big chunks or small chunks?

“If we were to study a subject would you be interested solely in the facts and their application now or the ideas and relationships and their application in the future”; Do they prefer following process or maintaining options?

“If you were going to work on a project would you prefer it were outlined, planned and orderly or more flexibility?" Do you have a diary / planner you can use regularly and do you like to use it? Why did you buy your first [thing]?; How a person reacts to their environment; a like of plans (need closure) or flexibility (poor at making decisions).

“What do you want in a job / car / relationship?”; Are they motivated by carrots or sticks?

“Why are you doing what you are doing?” ; Do they operate by obligation [to others] or through a feeling of choice.

“How do you know you are doing a good job?” or “Do you know you have done a good job inside or does someone have to tell you?”; Where is the locus of reference to judge success, internal or external.

“When you come to a situation do you usually act quickly after sizing it up or do you do a more detailed study of all the consequences and then act?”; Application of energy into action.

“When you make a decision do you rely more on impersonal reason and logic or more personal values?”; Feelers who use personal values may have difficulties with future considerations. Logical people may have difficulty becoming associated with their feelings in past events.

These questions can be supplemented using Shelle Rose Charvet book Words that Change Minds and used in a number of contexts including team building, management and recruitment.

Hey, I am really being a coach! THAT'S A WIN!!